Selfish
Chapter 9

A few minutes later

Justin pulled up in Kiara's driveway, and turned the car off. He sat back in his seat, not saying a word. She sat there, fiddling with her fingers, a habit she does when she's nervous. "Um...I guess things are better off this way." she broke the silence. "I'll see you some other time." she stepped out of the car and closed the door behind her. He watched her step on the porch and go through her purse for her set of keys. As soon as she looked up, some guy was standing in front of her. She gazed in the two familiar looking eyes as she felt her body get numbed all over. "Shit. You...scared me." she bit the bottom of her lip and held her head down. He moved in closer to her, and reached out, brushing her cheek delicately with his thumb.

"Hey." he spoke softly. She hesitantly looked up to lock eyes with his. He leaned in and met lips with hers. He deepened the kiss by entering his tongue in her mouth. She caressed his diligently with hers, enjoying all of his compassion.

"Mmm." she moaned softly between his lips. He slowly broke away and pulled back to stare in her eyes.

"Don't worry about a thing. I promise some guy will come along and...give you the world...since I couldn't." he paused. "Just...be patient. God work in mysterious ways." she gazed deeply in his eyes, completely feeling herself drawn to his beauty. "I gotta go. I'll talk to you some other time." he turned, and headed back to his car. She watched him hop in the car, and pull out of the drive way.

"God. Why am I so stupid? Ugh." she unlocked the door and entered the house.

__________

Kiara sat on the sofa, talking on her cordless phone as she watched TV. "Well...I met this...guy. I mean...not just any ordinary guy. This man is...sooo different then the other one's I've been with." she chewed on her popcorn. "No. Ahaha. Shut up. I'm serious this time. Very serious. But...I just can't get myself to...accept him, because...of my past. I'm so...selfish. I do want him in my life, but...it's just hard for me to...you know. Well...yeah. I went to his house last night to talk with him, and...he wrote this beautiful song for me. Yeah. I'm like...damn. No man has EVER written a song for me. It was beautiful. And...after that...we just sat and talked. Then...yep. You already know the rest. I mean...it was...magnificent. I felt so safe and...it felt like I was in heaven. He took me to the movies today. We have just been hanging out lately. He's a really sweet guy, but...my past fucked me up. It's hard for me to...trust another guy now." she sat back on the sofa. "Yeah. I do. Yeah...you're absolutely right. HE said the same thing. It wouldn't hurt to try again, but...you know how stubborn I am. Hahaha. Okay. Well I've been on this phone long enough. I'll talk to you later. Alright. Bye." she turned the phone off and sat it on the coffee table. "I have to see him." she stood up and jogged up the stairs.

A few minutes later, she had made it to Justin's house. She stepped up on his porch, and rung his door bell. A few seconds later, the door flew open and there stood an older woman. "Well hello there. You're here to see Justin, right?" she nodded in response. "Come with me." she followed the lady in the house, and pass the living room where two little boys sat watching cartoons. "Those are Justin's step brothers, Jonathan and Steven." she mentioned.

"Hi." she replied with a wave.

"Um...he should be in here." she spoke as they headed down a hall. She pulled the third door to their right open, and walked in the room. "There he is."

"Thank you, Mrs Harless." she nodded in response and exited the room. Kiara gazed at the familiar guy who sat at a pool table, playing pool. She stood there, fiddling with her fingers like the usual. "Ahem." she cleared her throat to get his attention. He quickly looked up to gaze at her.

"Kiara? Um..." he sat the rod on the table. "What are you doing here?" he asked, slowly approaching her.

"Um...I just...we need to talk." he stood in front of her, and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"What about?" he asked, keeping his eyes on her. The outfit she wore made her look more attractive.

"Uh..." she brushed a few strains of hair behind her ear, and looked away. "About us." she didn't get why she felt so nervous at the time.

"Well here..." he pulled out a seat for her . "...have a seat." she smiled sincerely and took a seat on the chair.

"Thank you." he grabbed another seat and sat down beside her. "Um..." she crossed her leg over the other. He couldn't help but gaze at her legs. They looked very tempting to him. "I...was speaking to...an old friend on the phone today, and...she put some sense into my head. I've never told you that...I am a selfish woman at some points, and...that's one of the reasons why...I didn't accept you into my life. The other reasons...you should know." he intertwined his fingers together while keeping his eyes glued to her. "I came here to...make up with you, but not only that. I...also want to be with you, BUT...it's all up to you if...you want to forgive me or not." he chuckled softly and sat back in his seat.

"Kiara...I forgave you a LONG time ago. I'm not mad at you. I'm just...curious of...what you're really thinking. You know I really want to be with you. I was just waiting for you to...come back to reality. Everything was all up to you, because you know I can't force you to be with me. It's your choice. Just like I said before." a smile slowly formed on her face.

"So...you still wanna be with me?" she asked, a little surprised.

"Of coarse. Come here." she leaned in, meeting lips with his. "Mmm you know I care about you...a lot." he broke away, and pulled back to gaze in her eyes. "I've never felt this way about a woman before. You're something special." she blushed and held her head down. "Well...I'm glad that's token care of. Now..." he stood up. "...why don't we play a round of pool."

"Cool." she shot up. "I love pool." she sat her purse down, and followed him to the pool table.

Chapter 10

ALL WORK COPYRIGHTED BY SHONA 2002